SuperMom I am not!

So, today started out as any Monday usually does: Me laying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to remind myself why I have to get out of bed. Once I lost the debate and finally got up, I realized that I should have just rolled over and put the covers over my head! I am having one of those days and it is not even noon yet. First, I had to rummage through the dryer for school uniforms, and then Hannah lost a sock- even though I am positive that i gave her 2, she swore I only gave her one. Then we had the usual getting hair done battle. I can't really say that I WON that one, but her hair did end up with a bow in it. Then I went to make lunches only to find that we had no bread- or bagels- or hot dog buns- or even tortillas (you can see where I am going with this) nothing to make sandwiches with. So, kay we will just have to buy lunch- no big deal. Wait you have to have money to buy lunch. So I started rummaging for that. I found a 20 (kerry laughs that I stick money places so that I won't forget that it's there, and then I forget that it's there- but I think it is awesome because when I do finally find the money it's like Christmas). Anyways, then I look at the clock and see that we have 25 minutes to get to school. Just enough time to stop and get Mom her much needed Diet Coke (yes I feel off the wagon) and get change from the 20 for lunches- because in case you don't know it is not a great idea to give a first grader the responsibility of bringing change home. So we are all in the car, most of us dressed- JAred was in big boy pants because we are potty training, and frankly I had forgotten to get him dressed in all the confusion. Hannah's shoes are not tied, but at least she is in the car. Just as we are pulling out of the garage, Zach realizes that he doesn't have his backpack. After a search, we realize that it is in Kerry's car. So everyone back in the car we will stop at the office on the way. Then starts the usual fight about what we listen to in the car, but after some primary song threatening we were okay. In case you couldn't figure it out time had been passing and now we had 15 minutes unitl school started. It takes about that long just to drive to school, so I figured that we would just get to school and I would help them buy lunches. We get to school and start to get out when I realize that J-bird is still in his big boy pants and nothing else. I just cannot be that white trash, so i found some clothes that were in my car (which could be equally white trash, because who knows how long they have been in the car or why they were there in the first place, but they didn't smell so they went on). So we went in and Zach bought lunches while I tied Hannah's shoes. I think I may have underestimated my sweet boy. He very professionally bought a lunch for himself and his sister (even politely correcting the lunch lady when she wrote down Zach E instead of Zach B), and brought me the change. Of course he was still a little worried about not having his backpack but I assured him that I would bring it. So Jared and I get back in the car, and I am starting to get a little concerned because he hasn't gone potty yet and we have more stuff to do before we get home. So when we stop at GrandDad's office we try to go potty, no luck. So when we stop at Dad's office to get the backpack we try to go potty, no luck. So after we drop the backpack off at school and get to the vet to pick up Dad's dog (yeah remind me to ask dad why the dog needed DNA testing. Was the paternity in question?) We are waiting in the waiting room (ha) and the BRILLIANT people who work there are trying to figure out how much it costs and which dog I am trying to get because I keep asking for Maggie and Dad's dog is named MAGE (which is pronounced Maggie- long story). Jared is watching the fish tank. I'm sure you can all guess what happened. I look over to see him standing in a pool of pee. He looks up with his huge eyes and says, "oops mommy I peed."
So now I am sitting sipping my diet coke, and enjoying the therapy of blogging and my question is Who is this SuperMom person and does she offer lessons?